I know this site has been 'dusty' for some time...my sincere apologee for that.I must say, I did it intentionally as I was going through a lots of emotional situation which I do not wish to publish here.So many painful incident happened to me  lately till I felt fate was not siding me even for once.But I realize things happen for reason, thereafter I was able to digest some of those incidents. As such, I regretted coming to penang and wanted(still want to)go back to where I belong to. Mainly I was so wanted to be near to my  friends whom I missed so much.Perhaps, I was/am always left out in whatever activities they do due to the distance I am.(or I am just out of their their mind)Also not many of them keep in touch with me. When I was grieveing so much about this, my cousins keep making trips to Penang for any reason they could make just to be with me. They really did their best to make me happy and console me. There were also other friends of mine continually keep in touch with me and showed me so much concern.It really opened my mind and make me look at things differently.

I should start appreciating what I have with me, especially those who really appreciates me.Those who I thought my great friends have moved on with their lives, and it looked like ony me was tangling to that friendship and moments we had.The memory of them still fresh in my mind, but ought to give to priority thosw who prioritize me.I learned about life very much,as such I stop complaining about life(almost) instead appreciate life for it has given me as I would not what will happen tomorrow, whether will there be a tomorrow for me.

Today I just did not feel good about going to work.When I checked my mailbox in the office, I saw 28 mails solely from my boss.I knew things were not gonna be fine today.

Thought of catching with my friend whom I didn't see for long, but it was time for me to attend training.I came down to floor to see my friend just to catch up on things, but she seemed to be acting weird...didn't even reply my smile instead she pretended as if she did not see me.

When I approached her, she just kept herself busy, made me wonder what has become her.When I approached her regarding getting some assistance at work she seems not to be co-operating, worse she kept showing face to me.I thought perhaps she was not well or so but she was seen happy being with her friends who were only same ethnic as hers. I have noticed this behaviour of hers many times, I have been told on her racist behaviour many times but I did not bother on what people have told me.I was very disappointed on how she treated me today...after all I thought she was a good friend of mine ...but I was wrong.Think I cant look upto her as a friend. I can feel she's acting cold to me , although I have asked her is she.This instance has really impacted me whole day.But I was not able to share this to anyone...as it would not be nice for others to know.Thats why I am scribbling it here.

I hardly can trust anyone at work anymore except 2 , one is my boss and another one is a senior staff whom always I seek advise when comes to process related stuff.

People in Penang are just so racist, I hardly see group of people with different ethnic in it. Think the culture here is such.......I am proud to say that I am not part of it!

Here I am sitting in front of the PC just like a lifeless geek, blogging out my crappy life. I just thought of writing about my workplace. To be honest, trade is something very new to me. The environment here is a total shock to myself. Let me do a comparison of my previous workplace (let’s name it X) and current place(Y).

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                             X

- my manager was a racist, bias, b***h!

- no opportunity was given to me

- diversity culture in friendship

- shift work; work on weekends

- my direct reports were my close buddies, however they know how to differentiate workand friendship

- benefit were not much..most to most only ING

- your break schedule and punctuality is tracked and assessed in appraisal

- a lot of documentation involved especially for management(70%)

- words like file note, action plan, development plan is so common

- employee were competitive and rebellious

- there is always liveliness and friendliness in this place

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                                Y

- I have a great manager who guide and give me the total control

- not much of diversity, people tend to stick to their own ethnic

- weekends off(yahoo)

- Opportunities recognizes me here; people appreciate my work and give me the big O.

- I do not have friends at work.

- great benefits for employees and even for their family

- there is no fixed break time, people here are flexible with break time.

- 70% paperless. I hardly see an A4paper

- no disciplinary action unless it severe than a warning letter from HR would take place.

- not much liveliness here and stranger may remain as stranger

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